Let's see how far we've come... (the epic conclusion)

Looking back through my blog, I realize there is a lot of complaining about how much I dislike blogging; yet here at the end as I write a conclusion, I don't dislike blogging that much. In fact, I have come to enjoy it a lot. That may not be a surprise to anyone who has already discovered their joy for blogging, but I never thought I would experience it.

Turns out it's kinda fun to write about whatever you would like and post it for the world to see; there is something fulfilling about having people comment on and qualify the things you say, not only for you but for the world to see as well. 

I honestly think my favorite thing about blogging was being able to tell a story or share an experience and make it very personal despite being on a virtual forum. The use of bold words for emphasis and pictures to go along with a story made it that much more fun to tell and that much more personal.

Not only was it fun; blogging kept me writing, even just a paragraph, throughout the semester. I always forget just how much I love to write, and constantly writing on a blog was no exception.
It's also helped me chronicle things I have learned throughout the semester and don't want to forget; it really has been like an online journal. The last couple months I have gone through a lot of personal growth, more than one normally does through such a short span. There have been a lot of humbling, disappointing, and stressful things. I have also been incredibly blessed, and had many fun and exciting times. Through it all I really feel I have grown up more and become a little wiser about the world. Just maybe you can see it through my posts; if not that's ok, because I can.
I realize one of the points of this blog had been to figure out my major. Definitely didn't happen, but I'm still working on it.

I hope anyone reading enjoyed this blog as much as I did (doubtful, yet i can still hope.)

It might have been tedious, or whining, but I hope somehow in there it made people smile. One of my favorite quotes goes 

"Happiness is contagious; spread the disease."

I think it's a pretty good adage to live by.

It's the small things.

 This is a picture of myself, my three roommates and two of my best friends. Tonight we had tickets to go to the First Presidency Christmas Devotional in the conference center in Salt Lake. As you can see from this picture taken on the escalators inside the conference center, we were pretty excited about the opportunity.

It's things like this, being able to go sit in the same room as the prophet and his counselors and listen to them speak, that make living in Utah and putting up with the cold, worth it for me.

The speakers were wonderful and the MoTab performed beautifully. Afterwards, the girls and I spent an hour freezing as we wandered around temple square looking at all of the lights. For anyone who has never gone to see them, I have to highly recommend that you go, soon. It was the perfect way to get into the holiday spirit, but also to slow down and breathe through all the stress that comes with finals being a week away. 

It's the small things, like being with friends who love you and can always make you smile, or putting up with the bitter cold to see some twinkly Christmas lights, that remind me why life is so worthwhile.

Even with finals coming up.

Maybe, just maybe.

Tonight I was in the library, having no social life and studying (thank you finals), when I felt someone grab my shoulder. Pulling out my headphones and turning around, I recognized an old friend from the past who immediately put a grin on my face.
"JAMES!" I shouted, in the loudest acceptable whisper for the periodicals section of the library, and slapped a high five with him. "How's it going?!"
He grinned back and we exchanged pleasantries for a minute before he admitted that he couldn't find his roommates and asked if he could join me at my table since I was alone (like I said, no social life.) I agreed and he pulled out the chair next to me.
Now this story doesn't seem to be very relevant, unless you know that James is the boy I had an unbelievably huge crush on for an embarrassing number of years growing up.It was the kind of puppy love that had me drawing his name with little hearts around it in my notebook in high school.The kind of adoration that made me go speechless and shy when I was around him. The kind of thing that's a little humiliating to all live up to now.
After his mission I knew he'd come to BYU and despite being much older I though I still fostered just a little of that affection for him. Yet we sat two feet apart in the library for two hours tonight, talking and laughing occasionally at old jokes or funny YouTube videos while we took a study break; I remembered how much fun he is, but didn't get any of the old mushy feelings I had been expecting. He's still attractive and easy to talk to, just like I remember, but I can have a conversation with him now that doesn't consist of me trying to impress him and giggling hopelessly. It was enormously refreshing. 
When he finally packed up his Macbook, smilingly said good-night and walked away tonight, I knew I was a changed girl. The boy I was once hopelessly in "like" with is now just an old friend from back home; more than almost anything else that has happened lately, including the second job, tonight showed me just how far I've come in my life. It probably doesn't seem like that big of a deal at all to anyone, nor should it; this is one of those thing's that's extremely personal.
It showed me that maybe, just  maybe, I'm starting to grow up.